I finally had a chance to do my self family shoot. It was fun except it was humid and I forgot my cyber commander to fire the sb800 remotely so I mounted it to the hot shoe.
I'm aware of the flash sync. I read and read and read about it. Since my daughter couldn't stay still I needed to up the shutter. However it was towards sunset so the exposure was a best 1/60 and the flash was for fill. I would like to share the photos but they will be shared next week. Sorry.
Now I'll post my question before the weekend because I have another practice session on Sunday and I hope I get some replies.
I shot in manual mode and set the flash sync speed to 250 autoFP High speed. My understanding is that only if the shutter calls for 250 or higher the flash should strobe pulsate the flash. The settings ended up being 85mm f3.2 1/60 ISO either 200-800. I tried to find a faster shutter to accomadate freezing my daughter but I guess the light didn't call for it unless I stopped past f/8 which I didn't want.
So the flash was strobing at 1/60 I changed it to manual ittl ittlbl etc. Finally I changed the the flash sync in camera to just 250 not auto 250 and it stopped strobing pulsating.